The Difficult Life of a Time Traveler
As exciting as time travel might sound to you, there are some real downsides I bet you haven’t thought of. I’ve made over 40 trips for work, and it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
• Explaining time travel to you is very hard.
I have to choose between sounding like a crazy person to you or a dummy to myself. I’ve learned that dummy is the better choice. Nobody wants to hear the details or that time travel is lame, over-legislated and basically just a money laundering pipeline. Time Travel into the future is very very difficult. Again, hard to explain. I know what you want to argue.
• You lose respect for history.
Next to none of the things you learned actually defined the time. I went to 1969 once and it turns out that the hippie culture is only about as big as the hipster culture is. And if you thought hipsters were annoying…
• Falling in love with someone in the past is painful the moment it starts.
The further back you travel, the harder it is; you meet a beautiful person, and you’re immediately heartbroken to know that when you return to present day they’ll have been long gone. It’s difficult to reconcile meeting someone and the next morning telling them how you felt about them while standing over their gravestone.
• Head colds suck
And nothing’s like a post-time travel head cold. The trip drains your body of vitamins, especially C and D. You basically have to live on cold meds for two weeks after each run. You look like a meth head when you hit up CVS.
• You never get to meet your heroes.
Everyone always dreams of going back in time and meeting the person/people who defined it. Well guess what, you get there and nobody knows you, and those great, important people have security and just try to explain to Jimi Hendrix’s security that you’re “from the future”.
• Time traveling wastes time.
While you’re gone, things change and people keep living their lives. When you return to present day, it’s as many other days later as you’ve been gone for. One time I missed Christmas because I was staying in 1978 for the Summer.
• You just get confused
Good luck remembering who you told a story to, or how to talk to people of different races, etc.. Your memories get all warped. One life in one set time is enough, I promise you. It all just gets kind of sad. Live your life and love it. And believe me when I say that death is a part of life.